Finding your Self Worth

Autoimmune disease. Millions of people are affected by this condition, and the numbers just continue to grow. I imagine, since you are reading this, that you are one of the millions affected by an autoimmune disease. 

Approximately 50 million Americans, 20 percent of the population or one in five people, suffer from autoimmune diseases. Women are more likely than men to be affected; some estimates say that 75 percent of those affected–some 30 million people–are women.

Each autoimmune disease is different, but they all take a toll. It takes a physical toll, but it can really affect your mental game. Have you noticed more depression, loneliness and grief since your diagnosis? If so, you are not alone.

But how can you find your self-worth when you have an autoimmune disease?

First, find a support system. This can be different for everyone. For some, your support system may be your spouse or your family. For others, you may need to look outside the box. Find a group to participate in on Facebook, or join a forum that discusses issues related to your specific autoimmune disease.

Second, find things to be grateful for. Keeping a daily gratitude journal can show you how many things you have to be grateful for, despite your autoimmune disease. For example, here's my gratitude for today. I am grateful for:

1. Warmer temperatures outside. (It's been a rough winter).

2. That our new business has been successful this year.

3. The ability to take care of my family despite disability

Keeping a list of at least three things you are grateful for on a daily basis can really help you find your self worth, despite whatever autoimmune condition you may be facing.

Third, find a hobby or a purpose. It could be as simple as crochet or cooking, or you could even start your own blog like I did. A lot of people suffering with autoimmunity are forced to quit their jobs and depend on disability benefits or other income. This can be so discouraging and can really rob you of your joy and self worth. 

Do you have valuable things to give? Knowledge, especially about your specific disease. You can start sharing with others what you have learned, and what keeps you going. 

My joy is found in building websites and maintaining blogs like this one. For example, I mentioned that we started a new business in my gratitude list. We started a custom furniture and metal fabrication company called Carbon and Grain, LLC. 

My autoimmune disease has taken some of my physical ability, so I won't be building or delivering furniture. But I was able to find a way to contribute despite my disability, I built the website for our business. This gave me a sense of worth in our new company.

It may take a bit of brainstorming to find your hobby or purpose. What are you good at? What do you already know how to do? What have you been dying to learn how to do? Make a list and start narrowing down your options.

Keeping your self worth is so important. I hope these tips help you find and keep your sense of self worth despite dealing with an autoimmune condition

The Emotion of Food

Usually when we talk about emotional eating we are referring to the tendency to eat more than we should when we are sad, or happy, or anxious. But when did our emotions get tied so closely to what we eat? Could it be that the processed and refined foods that are so common today trigger a response from our brains that is as addictive as a drug? Food can also be a symbol of having wealth. If a family is eating rice and beans they could be seen as poor. Or if one is avoiding gluten or dairy for themselves and their family, another person may see it as deprivation. Personally I have seen emotions run high with my parents in regard to my two year old son. As grandparents they want to spoil him and give him the best, but this means foods that we don't eat in our own home.

How do we handle these emotions? I am so non confrontational that trying to discuss this with my own parents is tricky. I had the best advice from a friend who changed her family's diet due to her son's brain cancer. She spends her time and energy making sure her family eats the best they can, the best quality foods and the best diet for keeping cancer away. But when they are away from the house, they allow the kids to break the rules. If you are doing everything you can to feed your family well, a little bad here or there isn't going to destroy everything you are doing at home. I am sure some would disagree with me, and others are probably better at putting their foot down with family. And if you have a severe food allergy this absolutely would not apply. The amazing thing for my friend's son is that he generally tends to pick the foods they would normally eat at home. He has been eating this way so long that his palate enjoys these foods and isn't inclined to eat what a normal kid might find tasty. I am hoping this is true for my son as well. And for our family, I am the one with MS. I am the one who has to make sure I do everything I can to eat right 100% of the time.

Have you run into emotions or counsel over the diet you have chosen? Are you avoiding gluten, dairy or meat? These three tend to make emotions run the highest. People tend to feel the most educated on the foods that are marketed the most. For example, dairy is the only way you can get enough calcium right? Wrong, but after years of Got Milk campaigns people are sure this is true. Or eating gluten free is just a fad and isn't healthy right? For those with a sensitivity, the abundance of gluten free products on the market is a blessing, even if ones think it is a fad. I find it best to validate their concerns but assure them that our health is better due to the way we are eating.

Letting people know what your diet restrictions are can help. If you are invited to a friends house for dinner, perhaps offer to make a dish or dessert that fits what you can eat. And I find it especially helpful to set the host at ease by letting them know they don't need to make special changes in their menu just for me. Perhaps eat a filling snack right before you attend and then you will be able to graze the foods you can eat and not feel hungry or offend the host. Finding your balance can take time, but with a little determination, trial and error the emotions of food will subside and feeling better will make any pain of confrontation seem trivial.

How do you handle this issue?